Fr. Mark L. Lopez, SJ
Easter Sunday
April 12, 2020
Since the lockdown, life has been doubly exciting. Other than being parish priest for 6 parishes here in Kampong Thom province, I now also have to be security guard, sacristan, janitor, gardener and cook here in the main parish. In short, parang JVP volunteer year lang ulit. We used to have 15 students in our student hostel here helping us manage the center, but now we have to run the center on our own. Me and 2 volunteers.
Of the many little chores and preparations I have had to do myself over the past Holy Week, there was one that struck me as deeply meaningful. On Good Friday, I had to cover all the statues, crosses and religious images with violet cloth and I had to do it myself, becuase the other volunteers were busy then.
To be honest, in previous years, I didn’t think much of this practice. “God is alive” I used to say. We were just remembering Christ’s death, but in fact Christ was risen and alive. And so, “ang OA naman ng pa-cover cover pa ng ganyan, I used to say.
But this year, on Good Friday. I thought differently. A big part of me felt like covering all these religious images was so appropriate, because now, more than ever, God’s presence for me is veiled. Amidst this pandemic, I cannot or have not seen his face. I personally have not made sense of all the loss and suffering and fear that is upon us. I have not found any spiritual insight to console or make meaning of this. I remain in a very desolate place. In short, maybe Easter has not come for me yet.
Fortunately, our ever reliable St. Ignatius is not without good advice for such times of desolation.
I remember in my long retreat, when times of hopelessness and the inability to forgive myself for past sins would set it, what my retreat master would advise me “no matter what happens or how you feel or how you don’t feel like praying, please show up for your prayer period. Show up, to come before the Lord, even when he seems to be absent.” KEEP SHOWING UP. We can keep showing up as a sign of our generosity. We can keep showing up as a sign of hope. We can keep showing up as a sign of love.
I guess that’s what the women in today’s Gospel did isn’t it. They showed up at the tomb, at the place where they surely did not want to be. They SHOWED UP, when there didn’t seem to be any reason to do so anymore. They showed up, and that’s what made it possible for Easter to surprise them.
Of the 12 disciples, we know that only one stopped showing up, and thus Easter could not reach him. Sayang si Hudas, hindi na inabot o hindi na naabutan ng Pasko ng muling pagkabuhay. Kasi, ayaw na niyang magpakita o makita ng mga kaibigan niya.
Remember that feeling after Christmas break of volunteer year? When we all didn’t want to go back to our JVP areas anymore? When it was so difficult to just show up? But we did. And God blessed us for it. I don’t know what “keep showing up will mean to us all now” (Will it mean you have to keep showing up for your Zoom reunions? Will it mean you have to keep showing up in front of these online masses? Will it mean you have to keep showing up for work?) I don’t know. You’ll have to figure that out on your own. But what’s important is, that you keep going. That we keep going, so that the Risen Lord can meet us along our way.
Secondly, in times of desolation, St. Ignatius advises us not to stop thanking God. Keep counting your blessings, our novice used to relentlessly tell us as he paraphrased Master Ignatius, especially when we didn’t feel like doing so,
Mga JVP po kayo. If you’ve taken Service, Simplicity, Solidarity, Spirituality and Social Justice seriously, I’m willing to bet you’ve had a meaningful life, a very meaningful life, a life worth living, and really worth thanking God for. And I think maybe gratitude, profound gratitude is what can give us the inner freedom to shake off all that fear, to move forward despite the uncertainty, to be courageous even, and generous and selfless at such a Godless time. And who knows? Maybe because of the courage and hope we will muster up, because of the love that we will let conquer fear, because of generosity that wins over turning in on ourselves, maybe by the very presence of these virtues, God will begin to show his face. Maybe by such grace will Easter light begin to shine on all this darkness that surrounds us.
Maybe that’s why feature stories on front-liners move me so much these days. Maybe there’s something about their selflessness and life offering, their courage and their way of loving and serving that bears the hidden face of Christ that I so desperately seek.
Lastly, REMEMBER THE GOOD TIMES. Hold on to your consolation moments. Relive them and treasure them in your heart, my novice master used to say.
Just yesterday, before the Easter vigil mass, nagmotor ako papunta sa isa ko pang parokya tatlong kilometro lang ang layo mula dito. Ang dami kong nakitang mga lolo, lola, at manang na parokyano ko dun na miss na miss ko na. Ang saya saya kong makita at makumusta sila at parang ang saya saya rin nilang makita ako. And that made me remember what a joy it has been serving this community over the past 2 years as parish priest. And as I wrote this homily last night, I realized, this joy is far deeper and more lasting that the fear I have of COVID 19 coming here and devastating our very poor, and very ill equipped province (Just to give you an idea, our provincial hospital, the biggest and supposedly most reliable here, only has 2 respirators on hand). So you can imagine the fear and anxiety that has been building up as we have been preparing for the worst here as we think of how to care for our parisioners. Yesterday however, by just reconnecting with what has sparked profound joy in this mission, I seem to have found an inner resource that can help keep me going, an inner resource much more worth cultivating than fear.
It was after all, while the disciples on the road to Emmaus were recounting and remembering all that Jesus taught them, that the Risen Lord came to meet and join them along the way. And so I am hoping that by remembering my consolation moments, I am also setting myself up to be surprised by my Easter Lord.
Pasensiya na po sa napakasabog at medyo mahaba nang homilya. Ayan kasi, bakit ako pa ang kinulit mo, Blas. Pero sige, sana na lang, kung meron po sa inyong nag-aabang din katulad ko, ng bulaga ng Easter, kung meron po sa inyong nagaantay pang magparamdam ang Diyos, sana makatulong – KEEP SHOWING UP. KEEP THANKING GOD. AND TREASURE ALL THE MOMENTS IN THE PAST THAT ARE WORTH REMEMBERING. By doing so, we can hope for Easter to truly come.
Originally preached for the Jesuit Volunteers Philippines Community, delivered via FB Live.