I entered the Novitiate of St. Andrew on Hudson August 14, 1957 at the age of 18, having graduated from my parish high school in June. The decision to do this came about as follows.


For months before high school graduation I was pondering what to do after high school. If I went to college what course would I take? Where should I apply for college? To help with this "research," I began to investigate material in the house - we had lots of books as my father had been a high school teacher and my mother a secretary to a Congressman in Washington. There I found a photojournalism book by Margaret Bourke White entitled “American Jesuits.” As I flipped through the photos of American Jesuits of the first halo of the 20th century in America, I was struck by the writeup on Fr. Francis Heyden, S.J. He was the Director of the Georgetown Observatory - an astronomer and a priest! This appealed to me as I had since grade school been fascinated by the study of the stars, having built a telescope in the 6th grade. So I applied both to Georgetown for college and to the New York Province for the Novitiate. The reply letter from the Province came first.


During the course of the two year Novitiate I volunteered to go overseas, expecting that this would mean South America as I had studied Spanish in high school. Well at the end of my philosophical and college studies at Shrub Oak this desire was fulfilled, but not as I has thought. The Rector of the philosophate at Shrub Oak called me into his office on spring day and began the interview this way; “ Mr. McNamara, I understand you have been in one of the coldest rooms in the house all winter.” I answered, ”Yes, Father. My room has been so cold that the north winds blow the snow into the room despite the closed window and the snow does not melt inside the room!” His reply:”Well, tomorrow I will change all that.” The next day the overseas assignments were posted on the bulletin board, and my name was first: McNamara - Philippines.


In Manila, I taught Religion, Physics, English and Geometry, was homeroom moderator for class 3B and ran the students' athletics for Ateneo de Manila High School - a typical Jesuit scholastic Regency. After 2 years of this work I was assigned to the newly formed MS Physics course being offered by the Physics Department of ADMU and handled by the Fathers of the Manila Observatory (MO). After 2 years of these studies I was asked to go on for a Ph.D. abroad in the area of solar physics. This brought me to the University of Colorado, Boulder, Colorado, USA in 1968.


In the beginning of my years there, I stayed in Regis College in Denver, but this soon proved to be too wasteful of time. And so I moved to the city of Boulder and stayed in a newly formed Jesuit community of graduate students, most of whom were from the Missouri province. But these were the years after Vatican II and many were questioning their vocation. Thus, it happened that in the course of the next year or so most of my fellow scholastics left the Society and I moved on to form a small community with two other graduate students, one a Maryknoll priest and the other an Augustinian. But they too were not sure of their calling, and soon girlfriends began to appear in our small house. In time, they left their studies and the priesthood and I was back to square one as far as finding a community was concerned.


At this point, the Lord's providence sent a Missouri Province Jesuit, both mature and a scientist. We decided to try a small community again, just the two of us. This was a lifesaver for me, and from that time till I returned to do theology at Loyola House of Studies (LHS) in 1977, community life was an established fact. I had daily Mass in the Newman Center of the University and Fr. Appel helped out in a local parish.


As I reflect on those years of extended regency now, I am grateful for the spiritual direction that the Society gave me that helped me to pray so as to weather those troubled times. My director was a Jesuit scientist at St. Louis University whom I would see once a year for my 8-day retreat. Since there was not yet computer communication, we would monthly communicate by tape recorder. I would make a tape of what was happening to me and send it by ordinary mail. He would listen and answer right away. Fr Mayo's comment when he learned of this was: ”You were making a 30-day retreat!”


Upon returning to the Philippines in 1977, I finished theological studies at Loyola School of Theology (LST) and was ordained in 1980. My classmates in LST were Chito Tagle, Robert Reyes, and Edwin Mercado. I was assigned to be Physics Chair in the early 80's and during that time, also assigned to live in Alingal House with the theologians. By the 90's I was asked to be Superior and Director of MO. This lasted till 2004 at which time I returned to the theologians' sub-community of LHS.


What do these 50 years say to me? First and foremost, they speak of the need and the power of prayer. I can remember many a cold night in Boulder when I would go to my favorite rock in a park with a view of the Rockies and just sit in prayer. I knew I had to be there with the Lord even as my companions felt they had to be with their girlfriends. Or again, when the woman I was attracted to came to me to share her love for my fellow graduate student asking my help. And once again when the secretary of the Newman Center stopped me after one noontime Mass, and there on the church steps, told me of her love. All of these incidents led me to prayer, to pray for perseverance in my vocation. And to pray for a vocation.


As I look back now after 50 years, I can see the Lord calling me as I built that telescope to look out into the Infinite. I can hear Him calling me as I experienced what it means to love another even to the putting aside personal gain from such love. I have come to know what it means to be a “sinner yet called by God.” And so I am thankful. Eternally grateful to be a Jesuit.

- Fr. Dan McNamara, SJ
  on the occasion of his Golden Jubilee as a Jesuit