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| A Long and Tree-lined Road… |
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 It all started as child’s play for me: As a 10-year old grade school boy I would “consecrate” the “wine” (Pepsi) and “host” (plain bread), and give it to my “communicant” (my 4-year old sister). Who would have thought that over the next 23 years, child’s play would turn from attraction to infatuation and later on, into an enduring “love affair,” symbolized by one long, slow dance? It has been one long, slow dance that has taken all of 15 years from the time I joined a Jesuit vocation seminar in 1995. It has been 13 years since my first attempt to do something about the call by wanting to join the Jesuit Volunteers Philippines after graduating. It has been 11 years since I first asked for my parents’ permission to enter religious life. I waited six more years before signing up for the Jesuit vocation workshop in 2005, and it was only in 2009 when I entered the pre-novitiate program in Arvisu House. In the years between 1999 and 2009, I worked for a multinational company, lived and studied abroad, saw parts of the world, and basically lived the good life. The easy and good life might have taken away the attraction to religious life and prevented the “love affair” to bloom. But the Lord has been very faithful and very persistent, so much so that I would see Him in the least expected people and places in the course of these last 15 years. And so the “love affair” has endured. In a few days’ time, I will be taking the next step in this “love affair.” On the 30th of May, at four o’clock in the afternoon, I will report to Sacred Heart Novitiate. Together with my brothers (my batch mates Ernie, Kim, Marlon and Rick), I will be taking my “baby steps” in the Society of Jesus as a first year novice. We all have different stories to tell, stories with varied characters and often complicated plots. Our stories are replete with many twists and turns, some very boring in their ordinariness, while others surreal in their seeming “other-worldliness.” Yet they all come down to one theme: They are all love stories – they are our love stories. Love stories that are different and yet alike, unique and yet shared. They are different and unique because we are individuals with different paradigms and unique histories. They are alike because our love stories blossomed and bore much fruit during our time together in Arvisu House. They are shared because we all fell in love with the same person: God in the person of Jesus Christ, God in the person of the different people whose lives have become intertwined with ours. It did not come easy, this decision to love Jesus Christ back by leaving behind family, friends, careers, and comfort zones to join His Society. It means leaving behind the only reason why I have been working so hard – to provide for my family. It means surrendering them and all their needs, hopes, and dreams back to God. I have to remind myself that in the first place, it was never I who provided for them – I was but an instrument of the Father’s Providence. It also means saying goodbye to intimate friends and our favorite gimiks: talks over coffee at The Coffee Bean, dinners at Mang Inasal, and karaoke at Music 21. After toiling hard for 12 years and climbing up the corporate ladder, it has meant saying no to a promotion. It has also meant saying goodbye to mentors and colleagues who have already become like family to me. This decision also means saying goodbye to afternoons of reading the latest books at Fully Booked, taking leisurely strolls while window-shopping at Greenbelt, and catching movies at Trinoma. It is still not easy, even as I count down to entrance day, because it is a decision that I believe I will continue to make every day. The seeming abyss of uncertainties and all the daunting questions still remain. But then again, these same difficulties make it easy to decide to love Him… And this is because in falling in love with Jesus, I have seen how faithful He has been to me and for me. I have come face to face, raw and in the flesh, with how unconditional His love has been for me throughout these years. The many months in Arvisu House, seeking God and discerning His will in the company of fellow pre-novices, only served to heighten my yearning for Him. and made clear to me where He was leading me: to the long and tree-lined road of Sacred Heart Novitiate. In the face of all this, I could not but have one response to His call: Yes. It is a “Yes” because in all of my striving for my family, in all of the care and concern I have for my friends, and in all of my career achievements, one thing stands out: that He cannot be outdone in generosity. He can do exceedingly more than I can ever hope to on my own. So I let go and let God. And despite the seeming abyss of uncertainties and all the daunting questions, in spite of the relative unknown, I make a leap of faith, secure in the knowledge that He leads the way for me. An epiphany came to me during my Holy Week Retreat at Arvisu House in April of 2009. I was contemplating the scene where Jesus asks of Peter “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these…?” In my heart, I heard the same question “Mamert, son of Mamerto, do you love me more than these…?” And then I wondered: “These? Which ones Lord? These people, these things? These talents, abilities, and strengths? These failures, weaknesses, and problems? These triumphs, achievements, and memories?” And Jesus simply answered “These…” And my answer was “Yes Lord, I love You more than these…” After months of wrestling with this question, after many periods of soul-searching, and after a long-process of sieving through the grit and grime and realizing that though I am a great sinner, I am being called as Peter was to work in the Lord’s vineyard, I am answering “Yes” to the call of Eternity. And slowly, I make my way to my new home, a place with a long and tree-lined road, treading baby steps as I go along – small steps made possible only by a leap of faith straight into the arms of God who called me, loved me first, and loves me unconditionally. - Mamert Bancale Mañus |
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The more than 300 men of the Philippine Province of the Society of Jesus serve in five universities, numerous schools for basic education, two diocesan major seminaries, three urban and five rural parishes... (READ MORE)
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Vocation Stories A Long and Tree-lined Road…
Vocation Stories A Long and Tree-lined Road…
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